Ritualizing the Transition from High School to College

by Elsa Marshall

As your youth depart for college many are asking big questions—questions like "How do I know what I was created to be? Where are the places that I can make a difference in the world? Where can I experience a sense of belonging?" They are searching to discover purpose and meaning for their lives during this time of new beginnings and leaving behind.

Allowing your seniors to “graduate” not only from high school but also from youth group is an important way to help them through this transitional time. One way to offer them this is to ritualize this time in their lives. Offer a special youth group night. Invite youth to reflect on positive experiences from their lives and youth group memories, to tell their stories, and to discern together what God is calling them to be. Offer them a way to discover and identify their core abilities, talents and skills while reflecting on their own calling in their daily lives through a gifts survey. Many spiritual gifts survey are available on the internet. Help the youth discern how their gifts will be used with their college major – their vocation. According to Parker Palmer, vocation is when a person’s joy intersects with the worlds needs. Gene Edward Veith says of vocation: "Finding our vocation [calling] is not just 'finding my lifework,' nor even 'finding what God wants me to do.' Finding our vocation is largely a matter of finding where God is, the God who hides in our neighbors, in ourselves, and in [the] world. Once we notice the Hidden God…at work—in the workplace, families, the community, and the church—and when we realize the part we play in [God’s] design, we have found our vocation." To paraphrase Martin Luther: Wherever you are, there you are called. Only if you absolutely cannot serve God there, must you seek another place.

Before the “saying goodbye” meeting, create a special booklet or picture album for each senior. Have youth leaders write reflections, fun stories and memories of the youth, put them into the booklet. Have the congregation write prayers for the youth as they depart for college and include those as well. Put in the booklet pictures of the youth from church school and youth activities. Be sure to leave room for the gifts survey to be inserted. Put a bible verse or verses in the booklet and anything else that will evoke treasured memories. Present the book to each student. Commission the youth into the world with a special worship service. During worship make it clear that they have been valued gifts to the church family and that the church celebrates and honors their youth and desires for them to share their many and varied gifts with friends, family, new classmates, neighbors, etc. and to use their gifts to love, care and serve those around them. To paraphrase Martin Luther: Wherever they are, there they are called. Only if they absolutely cannot serve God there, must they seek another place. Two Scriptures that might be used for worship and for the commissioning into the world are: "You are the salt of the earth." (Matthew 5:13) and “You are the light of the world. . .let your light shine before others, so that they may see your good works and give glory to your Father in heaven." (Matthew 5:14).

Lord, Help us not to talk too much

by Elsa Marshall

—Because talking too much is like driving too fast.
Sometimes the brakes are not good, and we pass by the place where we intended to stop.
When we talk too much, we know we go beyond the truth and we lie.
We also know that speaking too much derails us from life's track. —A Haitian Mountain Prayer

In youth ministry it is important to leave room for listening and prayer.  Youth today have busy and active lives, fully stimulated by a culture of computers, text messaging, cell phones, blackberries, virtual on-line lives, MTV and every other form of media.  One of the gifts that youth ministry can offer our young people is a space for quiet, a space for listening, a space for conversations with each other and with God.   Many of our youth have no other place in their lives where praying is part of their life and the way they live it.  Helping prayer to be “written upon their hearts” is a great gift.  Dallas Willard writes, “Prayer is, above all, a means of forming character.  It combines freedom and power with service and love.”  Through prayer our desires become more about participating in the love of Christ and less about getting what we thought we wanted.  It is important that our youth understand that the church believes that to pray in Jesus’ name means that we partner with Christ.  In that sense as “we get to know who Jesus is, so we find ourselves drawn into Jesus’ life and love and sense of purpose.” (T Wright, John for Everyone)

Each month you could offer a different form of prayer or a different prayer practice.  An example would be to focus on intercessory prayer.  Intercessory prayer can be a work of love and transformation. Explain that intercessory prayer is a not about pleading for what “I want” or to have God “patch up” someone.  Intercessory prayer is intended to pray about the other and their connection to the very heart of God, or an oneness with God.  Instead of asking God to do what we want done, we ask God, “What do I need to do regarding………..?”  “How might …………. connect with me?”  “How can I let go of ……………?” “ Healing from the pain of …….. and strength and direction for…………….”    The first week, have them picture in their mind someone that they wish to offer an intercessory prayer for and to hold that picture in their mind while they pray for them. 

 The second week, invite your youth to write on a sheet of paper the name of someone they find difficult today.  Scripture teaches us to pray for our “enemies” – defined as someone our youth find difficult or hard to deal with, live with, endure etc.  This week offer these sheets of paper into an intercessory prayer time during closing worship.  The youth don’t share the names on the sheets, only the folded sheets are offered into a basket during the time intercessory prayers praying phrases from Jesus and or Paul such as  “that they be rooted and grounded in love,”  ( Eph.3:17), “that Christ be in them and they in Christ,” (John 17:23), “that they be strengthened in their inner being with power through Christ’s Spirit,” (Eph 3:16)  etc.

The third week, use the newspaper to focus your intercessory prayers.  Break the community into small groups and give them sections of a newspaper.  Have them read articles in the paper like the Iraq war, about the murder of someone by a gang, homelessness, etc.  Ask them which stories they would like to offer intercessory prayers for and then have them write them encouraging the youth to write intercessions that are inclusive and prays for oneness with God for all involved in each story.  An example would be if they choose to pray about the war, make sure the prayers include the soldiers, the civilians, the children, the political power makers, etc.  Pray together all of their intercessory prayers before your youth gathering ends.  Ask them each to take one home to pray daily until you meet again.

The fourth week, invite everyone to share how praying all week one intercessory prayer was for them and how and if that changed?  Invite discussion and reflection on all the practices that were experienced during the past month.  Which was most difficult?  Which felt most natural?  Did these practices transform them?  Did it help them to see the world God so loves and discover how they are to partner in loving that world too? 

A Personal Vision for Youth Ministry

by Sheri Anderson, Youth Minister at Church of Christ Congregational, Millis

In Youth Ministry circles, we often talk about the value and importance of creating a Youth Ministry Covenant and/or a Mission Statement. The former I usually think of as an agreement written primarily by the youth and their advisors to shape and govern their life together while the latter may be initiated and written by the Board of Committee seeking to start or re-define the purpose of their youth ministry program.

Recently I started doing ministry in a new setting.

I wanted to explain my personal vision of Youth Ministry  to the advisors and Committees with whom I was working. I saw it as an opportunity for them to see “where I am coming from” and hopefully get them thinking about their hopes and dream for the program as well. However,  the assignment became far more personal than I had imagined. I found myself deeply and prayerfully engaged in the process. The exercise clarified for me what my deepest held values were. Now I feel, that I have articulated a vision to which I must hold myself accountable.

I share my vision with you in hopes that it might cause you to think deeply about your deepest held values. If you work with youth, I strongly encourage you to sit down and write your own vision for Youth Ministry. Share it with others who are involved in ministry with youth. I hope your ministry will be blessed by the experience.

A Vision for Youth Ministry    A place where all are welcome; All gifts used, even gifts still in the rough; A place where we can make mistakes and laugh and learn, And rely on God’s grace.   A place where we “build each other up” And gently “teach and admonish each other in all wisdom” But we never punish or shame.   A place where the youth are known by name; Where friendship blossoms between young and old; Where the generations learn from each other.   A place where we eat good food (and some junk food too,) Where we learn the art of conversation, And remember how to play.   A place where the stories of our faith connect with our own life stories; And we didn’t even know it was “Bible Study” we were doing.   A place where we learn to pray and praise, And care about the details of each other’s lives.   A place we come to serve others and in so doing Discover our gifts, power, confidence and ability to lead.

Click here for a list of youth and family ministry websites to help your church stay vital.

Text Messaging- A mysterious language  --  NALOPKT*

Text Messaging is a quick, fun way for youth to communicate and remain in constant contact using cell phones and computers.  Over 14 million teens are “texting”  regularly making it a new form of social exchange. Most kids started using IM when they are between the ages of 8 and 10.   In fact, “70 percent of all parents today are texters”  according to the Pew Internet and American Life Project. These parents know that kids are more likely to respond to a text message than to a phone call. 

Generally the use of their IM lingo, slang and abbreviations is limited to e-mails, text messages or instant messages on cell phone.  It could prove a format for conversation between parent and youth who have trouble communicating but be careful.  Don’t use this form of communication as a way to “look cool” or to imitate your child. Remember adults often look silly to youth if they are perceived as trying to imitate their children.

If you don’t know this new lingo and/or would like to learn more about it there are several websites available.   Here are a few:  netlingo.com  and www.transl8it.com

    *Not A Lot Of People Know That